On seeing that French movie,as a young closeted Indian gay man,I felt very much in his skin. His attempts for finding love from every john he finds are eerily reminiscient of my attempts to desparately search for someone permanent in the dating apps that are ever open. At this point,as someone who is not attractive,to be repeatedly objectified and treated like a sex toy to be used for other men’s pleasure while I desperately search for someone to settle and be permanently with:That pretty much mirrors the experience of the protagonist who grows ever haggard till his final experience with the pianist,and who then finally finds a stable man…I hope I can be like that some day at least. And sleep peacefully in someone’s arms. I’m just sick of people sloganeering about love on one hand and on the other hand treating my ilk as bodies to be used for one night and then dumped for the next fad of…whatever. No,no matter how much desi people meme about Grindr on Instagram,hoeing around is simply not conducive to ideal flourishing of me as a gay man,and the apps wear me out. I go here and do all this because I am desperate for someone and lonely for a stable companion. I don’t know,all that I can do is accept what that supreme dice player mahAkAla gives as my lot.

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